


A Surprise Visit

by growligan



Series: Prompts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, surprise laxatives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growligan/pseuds/growligan
Summary: Based on the following prompt:The Avengers come back from a mission to find Loki barefoot and pregnant in their kitchen, just to fuck with them.Bonus: he really is pregnantBonus x2: it's Thor'sBonus x10: he's also wearing a frilly apron.





	A Surprise Visit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reader4books](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reader4books/gifts).



Stepping inside the Avengers mansion felt like nothing short of pure relief to Thor. What had began as an average day had quickly turned into a less than average day as the Avengers had found themselves called into action (for the third time this month, Thor noted) to fight yet another incompetent villain. This time it had been Stilt Man who had poured his wrath upon America, more specifically a little town in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin. It had been a fierce battle, but like always, the Avengers had come out victorious.

Now, the battle was over and the enemy defeated, and they were back at the mansion.

“Man what a day” sighed Tony as he took off his Guns n Roses hoodie and hung it on a hook.

“I’ll say” agreed Tasha. She had nearly gotten crushed by a stilt and was still shaking from it. He might not be much of a threat in the grand scale of things, but things had nearly gotten ugly there for a while. Tasha was relieved to be alive and not having the same consistency as a mashed potato.

“I can’t wait to get some food into my stomach” said Steve. His stomach was growling. He was hungry. He started walking into the kitchen but had barely stepped inside when he let out a sound that could be interpreted as shock confusion or both.

“What is the matter?” inquired Tony.

“Thor” said Steve. “You might want to come see this.”

“What in the All Father’s holy name is goi--” began Thor, but his words stuck in his throat as he froze in his step when he saw what was inside the kitchen. He blinked and then he blinked again. “Loki?” Thor asked in mild disbelief.

“Hello brother” said Loki. He was standing inside the kitchen, his stomach bulging from under the apron he was wearing and his bare feet swollen. Thor knew what this had to mean because he could clearly remember when his own dear mother Frigga had been pregnant with his younger brother Balder. Loki must be pregnant!

“What’s that smell?” asked Tasha who had stepped up next to Thor to see what was going on. That’s when Thor noticed a delicious scent was spreading from the kitchen.

“I am making a spongecake” explained Loki as he wafted the smell towards them. Tony joined the group and inhaled deeply.  
“How did you get in here?” asked the bearded Avenger.

“Thor left the keys in his room back in Asgard and I got bored.” Loki shrugged and grinned. It was a big green and they noticed that his teeth were pearly white.

~

The Avengers were all settled around the kitchen table. They were reluctantly gazing at Loki who seemed perfectly innocent but past experiences told them all that to assume as much would be at best naive and at worst downright foolish. They all knew better than to think that the God of Mischief was innocent. The memories of when they had had to fight him when he’d try to conquer Earth were still all too clear in their minds.

Tasha still remembered the day she had walked into her room only to find Loki and Thor playing dress up with her dresses. They never fit quite right again afterwards and it still hurt to think about. Clint, on the other hand, remembered clearly when Loki had used his credit card and Clint had found himself facing a twenty dollar debt. He still had Tony to thank for helping him out of it.

But the biggest insult of them all was still the one Tony had faced when Thor had replaced all his shaving cream with lube and vice versa. It had stung in more ways than one.

“Ah” said Loki as an egg clock rang and he got up to take the spongecake out of the oven. It was a little hot but he used his Jotun powers to cool it down and soon he was serving it and they were all eating merrily.

“You were out of some ingredients so I had to improvise.”

“You’ve always had a talent for baking brother” flattered Thor.

“Thank you I used lube instead of eggs.”

All the Avengers suddenly stopped chewing and one by one they were spitting the cake out, worried about what consequences they were about to face. Vision shrugged. He couldn’t eat anyway so this didn’t affect him and he could not quite deny that his robotic mind was filled with a mild sense of glee at the thought of what was avaiting his team mates. Maybe a little bit of Ultron resided in him after all…

“Brother why would you do this?” asked Thor in disbelief.

“It’s my hormones” explained Loki. “They make me behave irrationally.”

“Why are you fat?” asked Vision. He did not quite understand what was going on.

“Because I’m pregnant” sighed Loki.

“What does that even mean????”

“It means there is a child in my stomach” explained Loki.

Vision gasped in pure unadultered horror as he pushed his chair back from the table. “DID YOU EAT A BABY LOKI!?!?!”

“No Vision this is how flesh people make new flesh people” explained Tony gentle. He had a soft spot for his robotic man servant but it was clear to him that he had failed him if he knew so little about how these things worked.

“Oh” exlacimed Vision. He was beginning to Understand. “How did the baby get inside him?”

“He had sex with someone and a sperm came out of their you know what and landed in Loki’s egg” explained Clint. He didn’t want to use the word “penis” as he thought Vision might not be ready to hear words like that.

“I didn’t know Loki was a hen” mused Vision.

“No female flesh people have little eggs inside them but they don’t hatch they turn into babies” explained Tony.

“Oh okay” said Vision. “I didn’t know Loki was a female.”

“Loki is a shapeshifter” explained Thor. The whole table fell silent.

“Well shit” said Clint all of a sudden as he rushed off towards the bathroom.

~

Later that night Loki was lying in Thor’s bed as he did not have a bed of his own. Thor was lying next to him. They were shirtless but wearing pajama pants. Loki’s were blue like his Jotun skin with little reindeers on them. The reindeers had red noses. Thor’s were green and purple striped like the Hulk.

“Well Loki that’s quite a situation you have put yourself in” said Thor. Now that they were finally alone he felt that it was time to scold his younger brother. “You have behaved most irresponsibly going out and getting yourself knocked up like that.”

“Oh really?” hissed Loki he could not believe his own brother was attacking him like this.

“Yes you buffoon” spat Thor. “What will mother and father say!?”

“I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY WILL SAY!!!” bellowed Loki.

“KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN” yelled Thor.

“STOP GIVING ME ORDERS THOR I DO WHAT I WANT” cried Loki and fat tears sprung to his eyes.

“There there I did not mean to be mean” said Thor awkwardly and pat his younger brother on the shoulder. “Do not weep.”

Loki glared at him through the tears but did not yell anymore and it didn’t seem like he was gonna cry either soon he was asleep.

“Thank Obama” said Thor. He wasn’t religious but he had always liked the former American President. He even had an autograph.

~

“Thor” said Tasha. She had come into the living room where Thor was sitting watching a soap opera. “I think we need to talk.”

“Of course dear human friend” said Thor and gave her a charming smile that was his trademark smile when he was trying to be friendly.

“Are you sure that Loki is pregnant for real?”

“Loki is many things but he is not a liar” began Thor and got something heated in his voice.

“Thor” tried Tasha and placed a hand on the muscular Asgardian’s knee. “Loki has done nothing but lie since you were kids. I’ve read your diary, remember?”

“Oh right” said Thor. He thought for a second torn between defending his brother and admitting that Tasha had a point. He took a deep breath. “Loki might be many things and a liar might indeed be one of them but he would not lie about this.”

“How do you know?”

“I know my brother” said Thor in a very matter of factly way to signal that the conversation was over. Tasha looked skeptical but did not press the matter.

~

Loki was sitting in the kitchen eating ice cream directly from the pint. Vision sat down on the other side of the table, facing the young prince.

“Hello” said Vision.

“Hello” said Loki.

“I have come to ask you about your pregnancy if that is alright” said Vision carefully.

“Go right ahead my colorful friend” said Loki and groped around in the pint for a bit of cookie dough.

“How far along are you?” asked Vision.

“I don’t know” said Loki. His stomach was roughly the size of a watermelon so Vision guessed it wasn’t that long left until it was time for the mischief maker to give birth.

“Do you know who the father is?”

“Oh yes” smiled Loki. “Oh yes I do indeed.” He laughed menacingly and Vision shivered.

~

Later that day the Avengers stepped into the kitchen again. They had been drawn by the scent of food. Loki was cooking again.

“What are you making now brother?” asked Thor suspiciously.

“Pasta and bacon sauce.”

Loki was wearing an apron. It was pink and frilly and he looked like a little princess in it. It made his bulging stomach look even bigger than usual and Thor could not help but notice that Loki’s stomach wasn’t the only thing that had gotten bigger. His butt had too. Thor nodded in approval as he secretly had a thing for big butts. He wanted to slap it but did not want to embarrass himself in front of his friends.

“Are there any laxatives in it this time?”

“No just bacon.”

“Okay” said Thor. He decided to eat his brother’s food. Meanwhile Clint was calling to order a pizza.

“My hormones are making me feel maternal” explained Loki. He pulled a loaf of bread out of the oven. “That’s why I am baking and cooking.”

“That’s weird” said Vision.

“It’s natural” said Loki.

“Why?” asked Vision.

“It just is.” said Loki.

They all ate in relative silence except Vision who was watching YouTube videos on his phone as he did not need to eat. Suddenly he realized something.

“Hey you never told me who the father is!”

The whole table turned to look at Loki in badly disguised interest.  
“Oh yeah, guess I forgot” shrugged Loki and slurped up some pasta.

“Anyway” said Tasha. “I took the liberty to buy a pregnancy test today when I was out so if you’d do us a favor and use it later Loki that would be great.”

“I will watch to make sure he really does it” said Thor in an attempt to reassure his red haired lady friend that his brother would not be able to cheat.

“Thor I do not want you to watch me pee” protested Loki.

“I will look in another direction” said Thor diplomatically.

~

Loki held up the pregnancy test. It showed a plus.

“I told you fuckers” he said triumphantly. “But you were all so willing to disbelieve me and think the worst of me that you were denying the obvious truth. I don’t like you anymore.”

“Loki!” gasped Thor reprovingly.

“It’s probably just his hormones speaking” said Vision.

“Now will you tell us who the father is?” asked Tony. He was beginning to take a personal interest in the matter, mostly because he felt he had a right to know if Loki was going to give birth in a house he was paying the rent for.

“Oh, yeah” said Loki. “It’s Thor’s.”


End file.
